What i want

                 I left home really early today hopeful and a little prepared for almost anything. I usually ask myself ; "What's the worst that could happen?" Trust me, a lot of worst... could. After i say a prayer, it feels like no matter what, i'll survive the day. Was talking to a friend about how sad people around might get if we cease to exist. I said they'll probably miss us for a bit and then it'll be like we were never there. Be that as it may, i would love to have left my mark on the sands of time. Not just to be remembered, but to know i made a difference.
               I want to be free, i want peace, i want to be me. I also want "My Heart" back.There are all this people i see and i can't feel a thing, just loneliness in a crowd and  i can't leave even if i want to. That makes me mad at times " but in the moment a tear falls... all hatred becomes a distant blur." I miss us, i miss everything. Don't want to go back there but i can't leave either. Maybe i'm just deluded, probably it's just in my mind. Though i'm a little scared to ask; "What if not?"

Que sera, sera - What will be, will be.

            Often than none we bother ourselves about what should have been, what should be and what would be. We don't have to. I know; "it's easier said than done". Today i had the opportunity of being in the company of a friend and my cousin. I was just contended to be with them despite the fact that i was wary at first. Worried about what to say and make their stay fun. I had no idea the day was going to be this great but you know what? I'm glad i didn't anticipate it. I was a good day though. To crown it all, i got to talk to my best friend at night. I didn't see that coming either.

             Don't worry about tommorrow, just trust in the Lord. He'll take care of you. Commit your ways unto him and he'll set your part straight. I've had more frequent down moments this past months but i believe things are getting better. I have this really wonderful sister who stands by me through and through. I'm blessed she is my sister. I miss my best buddy but i know we'll find eachother again. Our paths are tied together so we can never really be apart.
           Christmas is in the air and if nothing, i want you to see the fact that God cares for the bird's of the air, the lillies in the valley he beautifully clothes, how much more you whom he loves and call heirs.
Whatever will be will be and we know that all things work together for good for them that loves God and are called according to his purpose. Worry not. Que sera, sera.